adjective
reluctant
rih-LUK-tunt/rɪˈlʌktənt/
Unwilling or hesitant to do something.
The worker is reluctant to accept another stack of folders.

Etymology
“Against” plus “wrestle” gives the image of someone struggling against a duty or command. Reluctant expresses that resistance as unwillingness or hesitation, without necessarily implying an active struggle.
In context
and so I slow down my ideas now way more reluctant to say oh that's a brilliant idea let's do something
More examples
- Even after checking the ropes, I was reluctant to climb.
- They gave their reluctant agreement to the new schedule.
- He was reluctant to ask for help with his homework.
Forms
reluctant · more reluctant · most reluctant
reluctance noun — unwillingness or hesitation about doing something
reluctantly adverb — with hesitation or a lack of willingness